killing me softly…

im in a situation where my heart says no but my mind says yes… my heart keeps on saying that i need to push tru, that i need to give love but my body and mind are tired of loving… i wanna die, i wanna skip this years of crying, pain, body aches…. i wanna grow old and counting my days of dying.. i wanna see those real people caring me.. i wanna see one person in front of me saying ‘im sorry for what i’ve done i promise i’ll make it up to you i promise i change the bad things within me’.. i will be the happiest person if that day would come… but for now i can’t see any changes in him.. i’m so tired quarelling over him every now and then.. i’m so tired listening in his lies.. im so tired on giving him full attention, im just so tired! so much pain i felt,.. i just wanna sit and be quiet for a long time.. in that case maybe he can feel what i felt tonight… oh lord, please have mercy on me.. what are your plans with my life.. please do let me know.. for i cant bear this pain anymore… 😥

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